There is not a single day where I do not open the newspaper to find at least 5 celebrity facts that I couldn’t actually give a flying fuck about. But why do they even include information about them in the paper, after all it isn’t really what I would call news.
There Are Some Really Sad People Out There
An Example Of A Celebrity Lover
One of the reasons that the newspapers publish shit about all of these celebrity’s is simply because there are people out there that wake up in the morning and are actually really interested in them. WHY? Opening the newspaper this morning I found out that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt turned up to an awards ceremony together and that their marriage might not actually be in trouble. Great, well that just wasted 30 seconds of my fucking life so cheers for that.
The funny thing is that people actually comment on all of this and talk about it all at work. “Oh he was better off with Jennifer Anniston”, “Oh I’m glad their battling through it” are just two of the ones I have heard so far. I have only one thing to say to these people: Get A Fucking Life!
The types of people that are interested in what celebrity’s get up to on a day to day basis are usually in their mid twenties and are clearly not getting enough action in the sack or perhaps have nothing better to do.
Celebrity Deaths
Another thing that makes me laugh is that people also care when a celebrity dies. I remember when Jade Goody finally hit the floor everyone was upset at what they thought about and called her when she was alive and that she did a great thing for cancer victims in her last few weeks.
Well, no she really didn’t she got all of the money she could before she died and gave it to her kids. Okay, a great thing for the kids but was she helping cancer charities? Like hell she was. She is doing the world more use where she is now! So why am I against Jade Goody?
1. She was one of the most selfish women to ever have existed.
2. She was incredibly racist
3. She never did anything to help cancer, the papers were forgiving in her final days, I am not.
4. It’s Jade Goody
5. I always wanted to give her a slap
How about Stephen Gately? I also remember reading this in the newspaper and not giving two shits but it would seem thousands of women were almost in tears. So girls, why were you so upset? Reasons I don’t see the point in women caring:
1. He was a bender so you would have never have had the “luxury” of having his cock shoved up your front passage.
2. He was part of Boyzone
3. He never drank, yet decided to get himself hammered
4. He was part of Boyzone
5. Who is Stephen Gately?
6- Bonus: He was a part of Boyzone
Being serious for a moment, when the average Joe pops his clogs there isn’t a soul outside the main family and friends group that gives a damn so why should we care if some loud mouth cunt or raving bender we don’t even know dies?
So the next time you are reading about the fashion sense of Lady GaGa or getting the latest update on Jackson’s strange death why don’t you put the fucking paper down, and do something with your life!
So for all of you Celebrity Lovers Out There
MrBlack Has Just KICKED YOUR ASS
